just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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