so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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