You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
