I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
