he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize