You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
