Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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