Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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