His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
