How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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