I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
