I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize