Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize