I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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