you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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