If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize