hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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