that's an acceptable place to lick
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
