People in love make me want to vomit
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
