I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
