Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
