OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
