4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
