Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
