I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
