hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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