I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize