they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm too high and old for this...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
