The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
