either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
