did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
