Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
