this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
