just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
