on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and you said cock pushups were impossible
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
