ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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