he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
