I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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