I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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