sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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