Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
