also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize