You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
