I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
