my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize