Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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