ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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