when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
