google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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