i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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