Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
