you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
