I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
