:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
