Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
