Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
third nipple confirmed
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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