he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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