his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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