Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
