if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize