dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
