I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize