is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
