I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
